Assertive

Assertion difficulties lead to in adequate behavior. If you are basically non assertive, you come on too weak. Because you don't stand up for yourself, you feel hurt, anxious, and self-contemptuous. Your deficient actions and reactions produce feelings of contempt in others.

Conversely, you behave aggressively and come on too strong. Because of various life experiences, you are so filled with hurts and angers that major core of your psychological organization centers around the goal of hurting others, sometime out of vindictiveness, at other times out of a perceivedd need to defend yourself. While this aggression behaviour may accomplish your ends temporarily, in most cases it leads to distrupted communication with friends, call forth counter aggression from others, and tends to make you even more aggressive. This reverberating circuit keeps you on the neurotic spiral.

By contrast, properly assertive behavior does not always result in the accomplishment of you desired goals, but it does lead to a good feeling about yourself. When thing don't work out, you may feel disappointed, but you will not feel irrationally hostile.

Do not confuse aggression with assertion. Aggressiveness is an act against others. Assertion is appropriate standing up for yourself.